Clarity

18 Oct 2023 Weds, sunny, 57 F, water = cold

Today at the sea, it was sunny, unseasonably warmish, and the water was super clear and flat. A big contrast to the huge waves from a few days ago. 

I had arranged to meet some Swedish swimmers/dippers via the local FB page, but I got the instructions confused. When I arrived at the jetty, nobody was there, so I went ahead and walked to the other jetty, thinking that they had walked ahead since I was a wee bit late. Actually, I was exactly on time, but that’s sort of late. 

I saw loads of clear jellyfish on the beach, all sizes. I wondered if they were dead because I don’t actually know anything about them. I tried not to step on them, but then I intentionally stepped on one because I decided it was dead. Now, writing about, it feel mean and stupid for doing that. I hope it was dead. 

I was exhausted after riding there. Google says it’s 19 minutes, but it’s more like 35 minutes. I knew I was too tired to swim, but I wanted to get in the water because it was so serene. A few swans were floating around about 50 yards from the beach. I think of swans as decorative animals that they have at castles and other heritage sites. They putt putt around in the moat of the lake, but I never think of them living out in nature as free, independent animals that have to figure out where to sleep and how to find food. But just because they have really long necks does’t mean they can’t take care of themselves. 

I finally made it to the T-shaped jetty where I thought we would be swimming. Nobody was there, so I walked to the end and started getting my wetsuit on. I got a message from them that they were waiting at the bike racks, so they had to walk over to meet me. I felt bad. When they arrived I apologized, and one of the ladies said, “shit happens.” 

There were three of them, and they got right into the water in their bathing suits while I was still putting on all my gear. I was so wiped out by the time I got in the water that I didn’t know if I would swim at all. I couldn’t believe how clear the water was. I decided to swim under the jetty, then turn around and swim parallel to it. I went into deeper water, and was loving swimming over patches of white sand, surrounding by bushy brown seaweed thingies. Here and there I saw what looked like patches of long green grass. 

I get a bit wiggy around sea and lake plants. They scare me because I’m afraid I will get tangled in them and drown or some hideous sea creature will dart out from behind a bush and bite me in the face. Today I was too tired to care. Also, I swam into deeper water to put some distance between us. I love swimming around like I’m a biologist or dolphin expert or just one of those fancy people who feel at home in the sea. I saw rocks and parts of crab shells. I saw a mirror! I wonder if someone dropped it off of ferry? How did it get there? I couldn’t believe how clear the water was, and I was a little sad that I knew the swim was gonna be a short one. I stopped and rinsed my goggles, and when I started exploring again I could see everything with such a crisp view. I don’t think I have ever been in such clean water.

I was swimming breast stroke, and alternated with crawl. Then I saw something at the bottom that looked like a check. I figured it was for $1 million and I should probably get it. It was too deep to reach, so I tried removing my swim buoy to get it. I still couldn’t reach it, and my buoy started floating away. 

I decided to do some super bobbing moves to torpedo myself downward so I could snatch the check with my feet. I’m sure I looked like a complete crazy person to the people on the jetty, but I didn’t care because people in Sweden have been staring at me and even shooting disapproving glances my way for three months. WHATEVER!

It took me about 15 tries, but I go it. And it was nothing. It had a metal hook/loop on the end; maybe it was a tag for a shipment. Whatever it was it wasn’t worth anything, so I returned it to the sea. I should have brought it back to the jetty to throw away, but I could’t really swim and hold on to it. 

The water was so clear that the sun wasn’t forming a tunnel. I could still see the rays entering the water, so I greeted my peeps, “H, E, R, A, T.” I was so tired I almost couldn’t remember who to greet. I was wearing my 5mm hood and gloves, so I was not feeling the cold at all. I am amazed by all the people who get in the water when it’s this cold. 

I was a bit bummed that I would have a short swim because I was exhausted. Sort of shattered. Today should have been a rest day, but it was too beautiful to stay inside, and simply being in the water was making me feel relaxed and happy. I have to travel again on Friday, and that will suck. So getting to float on my back in the sea was the right thing to do. In the water I make better decisions. I don’t push past my limits. I can handle doing less of a swim than I want to because just being in the water soothes my brain and rinses off the crazy thoughts, the compulsive thoughts, the anger, the fear, the PTSD, the depression, and everything else.

I swam a little bit farther out. I could see the other women getting changed on the jetty, and one of them was jumping up and down to keep warm. I didn’t want to make them wait for me, so I swam to the ladder and got out. You don’t really get to talk to people if they dip/soak and you swim, but it was still nice to have the company. They walked off, and I stayed on the jetty (can I just call it a dock?!) to take photos. 

The sun was setting on the Orersund Bridge. I love that I swam in the f-ing sea and got to see Denmark. I love the clear water. I love that there were five or six others arriving to the jetty after work. There’s a green cabin on the end of the jetty with a sauna, so that’s an option. I didn’t have the energy. I walked back along the length of the jetty, taking photos of the water, the swans, the green park beyond the beach. What an amazing place. One thing I love about Sweden: everyone has access to these amazing spaces. They haven’t ruined it by putting yacht clubs or fancy restaurants on the beach. It’s just a long stretch of beach, with the sea on one side and a huge grass park on the other. 

I had to walk 1/4 of a mile or more to get the bike, and I passed volleyball pit, basketball court (two boys were bustin’ moves left and right – fun to watch), a soccer/football field, playground equipment. I stopped to talk to three women who were gearing up to go out on little kayaks. Cool. 

I got back to my bike, Jerome, and I didn’t want to ride home. Too tired. My back hurt. My legs hurt. But I realized it was my last bike ride and swim in Malmö. In Sweden. Tomorrow I see my cousin, and Friday I go to London. I had to ride the bike as a way to move slowly through the city, soaking up the parks, the bike paths. I rode past the library. I rode into the neighborhood where I have taken the train from, and I stopped for a few groceries. OMG, the chips here are lovely. 

I was so delirious when I got back to my place that I left the rental bike outside my hotel. They will charge me an extra fee for not dropping it off 1/4 mile away, but I could barely keep my eyes open, I had two heavy bags of wet gear, and I would have gladly paid $100 to stop exerting myself. I needed to sit down and drink lemon water. 

So that’s what I did. Tomorrow I will be upset about the fee, but I can deal with those feelings later. 

Now I am resting after my big adventure. I am in love with the flat sea, which was so easy today after the big, bad wave the other day. No jellyfish in my way today. The woman I had arranged to swim with told me that she prefers swimming in lakes. I do, too, but today the sea was perfect and everything I needed.