Down Time is Starting to Chafe

July 9, 2022 Saturday

Today at the lake…still not at the lake. It’s been one month and three days since my surgery, and I am finally out of the wheelchair (f yea!!) and walking with a walker. 

Progress

Saw my doc’s assistant last week, and she said I could go ahead and walk and put weight into the leg. So I am practicing, gradually putting a bit of weight into my leg. My knee is all locked up, so I’ve started to fall a few times. Still, I’m careful, and now I can move around I’m just all about walking. I just walked up and down my block. I didn’t do the full length of the block, just maybe three houses length. It felt good, and my leg doesn’t hurt. 

It’s stiff and sore around the incisions. I haven’t really had a chance to walk any distance, but I am so hopeful the pain will be gone. I think it is. I know my ankle feels better. I hate even thinking about the shin pain and about all the screw holes in my bones. 

I still have some swelling and weird, hard bumps under the skin near the incision. I hope that will all dissolve and flatten out because one of my goals was getting back an actual leg shape. It bothered me for four years that my leg and ankle were misshapen. Not like symmetry is always vital, but I hated seeing the aftermath of my accident. With this surgery I am trying to reclaim my leg, and I hope some of the trauma lifts, too. 

My doc’s assistant also said I could get in the water in ten days, and Monday will be ten days from the visit. I will cover the incision with waterproof medical tape. She also said I might not be able to get into the water safely…so it might be longer than 10 days. They want me in a pool, not a lake. For safety and for infection reasons. 

Whatever.

My Lake is Calling

As soon as I can find someone to take me swimming, I’m going. My beach had a thick material on the beach last summer, like a table runner for the ground, that allowed people with mobility issues to have a safer way to walk into the water. It’s all pebbles underfoot, so it’s quite tricky getting in the water without falling. 

I’ll use that thing, then my swim bud can take the walker when I get into deep enough water and put it back on the beach while we swim. Alternate idea: I fold up the walker and strap it to a floatie, then tie it to the outside of the swim ropes (they rope off a huge area for kids and for swimming). 

After shuffling around on my street (it’s MINE!), I got in my car and started her up. So sad. The exhaust was stinky, and I can tell she is so unhappy from sitting there for a month. It’s actually bad for her when I can’t drive her. Stuff dries out. She’s out of wiper fluid. Who knows what else. They said no driving for awhile, maybe a month. I’m not super clear on all the instructions and cautions. If I had an automatic I could drive, but I would also be unhappy. I love driving a stick. It’s all I’ve ever had. That and $25K are what stop me from getting a hybrid or fully electric car. 

I read a lot of swimming post today on various Facebook swimming groups near where I live and in UK. I love the community of women flocking to soaking and swimming in lakes, the sea, other wild places. It’s helpful to see others having the same challenges (swimming crawl, finding wetsuits that fit, figuring out how to breathe w/o swallowing water) and benefits. I know that exercise is good for health and mental health, but there is something special about being in the water, inhabiting another type of space where the limitations that plague me on land don’t have the same sway. The experience is more immediate and ever-changing. I’m in the water and of the water. 

In a few seconds I am in a new place whether I move or not because the water is always moving. I feel alive and alert from the cold water, and at the same time the sensation of the water on my skin relaxes me. I feel so at home in the lake, and I almost never worry about things. The stuff in my head doesn’t come into the water. Almost never. Things are simplified in a way and more natural. Any movement I make kind of works. I can swim, float, paddle, tread water. 

My Buddy is Back

A few days ago I got a text from C, my first ever swim buddy! We met last summer, and had several nice outings. I also met her sister and her sisters friend and BF. They are the reason I bought extra floaties!!!! She is back in town for a few weeks, so we are all going to go swimming next week. I can’t wait. I am so grateful she wants to get together. It’s hard to make new friends, so I feel extra special that she stays in touch.

Hell is Other People

I’m wondering how crowded it will be when I get back to my beach. Our beach. My swim buddies and me. It’s been just me or me and one or two others for months. For the coldest months, just me. It’s gonna be a shock to go back and have to navigate a space to walk and to find a place to put our towels. And the kids will be screaming. I’ll have to get after those boys who throw rocks and sticks at the ducks. I have to do it because nobody else does. How am I the only adult on a crowded beach who does anything to protect the ducks and teach the boys? Typical Seattle. 

In my childhood there would be half a dozen mothers jumping up to stop the rock throwing. How sad that I’m old and grumpy and bitter/wistful for the past. 

Someone’s gotta do it. I speak for the ducks.