Dragging My Feet

Today at the lake…it’s been a week since my last swim. To be honest, it’s been hard to get back into swimming. I’m just not feeling it, and I’m not sure why.

Could be the heat. We had a crazy hot summer, and I melt in the heat. I get so dizzy that I don’t feel safe driving. Also, the heat has boosted the milfoil weeds. The deep end, where I swim, is full of thick, tall, hairy weeds with tendrils that get wrapped around my feet. 

At first I didn’t like swimming over them. Too dark and creepy. What could be lurking in the fluffy greens and in the black spaces in between? I was afraid my hands and feet would touch the weeds as I swam over. I realized they didn’t, and I made myself swim over them, but I don’t like it. And sometimes I do finish up a swim and find strands of weeds wrapped around my feet or between my fingers.

I walked at the park the other day, and loved seeing people wandering around, sitting and painting, exercising, walking their dogs. Still, the park was almost empty, which seems crazy. Why don’t more people hang out at the park? It literally has everything. Water, playing fields, trails, dog park, beach. 

Everything had a pink sheen from the setting sun. 

I saw a bunny in the field. I hardly see bunnies anymore; I think the coyotes are killing them. So now it is even more of a special treat to see them. 

The beach called to me when I was walking, for sure. It always does. But I’m just not interested in swimming alone so much this year like I did last year. I think I might have to join the Y to get my laps in and hope to find swim buddies to get in the lake once or twice a week. I’ll have to see what happens. 

Also, I’m not as f-ed by depression as I was a year ago. Swimming this past year kept me alive. It was the only time I could forget about my health, forget about the pain in my leg, and just be in the moment. The cold water is shocking in the perfect way. Pay attention, swim, breathe. 

With momentum I can swim to the buoy. I can see the light break into its beams in the water. Sometimes, a fish! I hope I get back into it. One, because it’s cool. Two, it’s a good workout. Three, I invested in winter wetsuits! 

Ok. I’m swimming tomorrow with a swim buddy. Yea!!!!! Almost time for wetsuit, but I’m gonna hold off a couple more weeks if I can.