Heaven is a Place on Earth

Monday, March 7, 2022

Sunny | water temp 45 degrees F

Today at the lake. So tired. I didn’t even write anything today. But it was sunny. And I swam. Tried out a new wetsuit. OMG. So much more room and stretchy through the shoulders.

When I was on the beach getting ready to enter the water a big black dog approached me. He was playing catch with his human. The ball was nowhere near me, but he walked over anyway to say hi. I didn’t think much of it because I was focussed on taking my pre-swim snaps and vid. I almost included him in the photos, but I just ignored him. The weird this is that I just remembered him (or her), and realized that he/she didn’t run up to me and because of that, I didn’t have a panic attack like I did the last time a big dog ran up to me. I still have a long way to go to get ahead of my PTSD, but it is progress.

Of course, now I’m also wondering if the dog was a message…or someone visiting me. I have T nudging me along and helping me celebrate my swims. But maybe R or A or S inhabited that dog today.

I know not everything is a sign or a message, but I’ve never had a dog approach me like that: calm, curious, patient. It didn’t have that excited dog energy. And I IGNORED him. I am such a B!!!! Next time, pay attention.

I literally swam in circles today Every time I decided to head in a specific direction I would pull up and be facing the opposite direction. Cray. That could certainly be a message or a reflection of my inner state. It is so funny to me that on land I have a really great sense of direction but in the water I swim in circles. Maybe that is the sea witch way.

Tested a new suit today. I could feel the warmth in my legs, but I think the suit was too big in places and maybe too much water got in through the back zipper. I didn’t feel warmer than usual, and I should have because it was a much warmer suit. I’ll have to talk to the guy at the shop and see what he thinks.

The water is still murky. I don’t like it. Part of the fun for me is getting to see the lake floor, the rocks, even the puke-y sea weeds. I need to find out what’s going on. Probably runoff, but I should check and make sure it’s not sewage. I’m also too tired to care, and I don’t want my swims interrupted. At least the sunbeams still crossed my path. I dig that.

I only did a short float today. I wish there was a way to feel that relaxed on land. Maybe I need to lie on the ground in floating position. I’m so beyond caring what anyone thinks….so next time I’m losing my sh*t I’m just gonna lie down on the ground. Too bad if I’m in a store or parking lot or office.

Talked to a very nice couple from Iowa in the parking lot as I changed. Then I saw my friends R and B. Yea. I love that I have park friends. My park is the best. Nice people, lots of bunnies, blackberries, swimming, walking paths, sculptures, ducks. What more could a gal want.

On the way home, T played the perfect song for me: “Heaven is a Place on Earth.” Thank u, T. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOGEyBeoBGM