I Earned This Swim

Temp 77 Water Temp 53 

Today at the lake it was hot and sunny. The parking lot at the park was packed, and as we pulled in I could see people everywhere, playing frisbee, sitting on towels, strolling on the paths. I love seeing everyone enjoying themselves, and it really struck me that I have slogged through many, many, many months of grey, rain, and cold. I earned today’s warm swim.

I tried my favorite wetsuit today because the water has been too warm for my thick thermal suit lately. My Orca wetsuit is also thermal, but it’s not as warm as my other suit and it’s much thinner in the arms and legs. It’s also really hard to get on, like putting on a body condom. I love this suit but only use it for the month of May because it tears easily. I have to put it on with socks on my hands so I don’t rip the fancy buttery soft and thin Yamamoto neoprene. 

Plump, But Still Sleek Like a Seal

This suit is so sleek that I feel like I’m almost naked when I swim in it, and best of all, it has a flap that sits underneath the back zipper and goes over my head that gives me a tighter neck seal (and any water that comes in from the zip doesn’t reach my back) so I don’t have to wear my hooded vest. And the crazy amount of stretch means it’s easy to swim in because I’m not fighting against the suit.

The water was amazing today. A few degrees warmer and the hot sun make a huge difference. I could swim in my regular wetsuit and be comfortable. 

I headed south first, then pulled up to do a 360 and look at the different mountains. I could see clearly to the north, as well as the east and Mt. Rainier in the south. I have no interest in climbing mountains, but they are really lovely to look at, especially from the water. 

Something didn’t feel right, but I couldn’t figure out what it was. Then I realized I’d left my buoy on the beach. I swam back and put it on because my phone/alarm is in the bag…not to mention my wallet and keys, then got into the water again. My friend, D, was at the beach today, so it was an added bonus to see her before and after my swim. 

My Spiritual Practice

I spent most of my swim today engaging with the sunbeams. Instead of chanting several names of my loved ones who have transitioned, I focused on one at a time. First, T. I swam into the tunnel, reaching as far as I could to stick my hands into the sides of the tunnel. It’s quite mesmerizing to be in the beam tunnel and sending love. I wonder how much time goes by when I do it. 

After awhile I pulled up and swam to the cement dock. Then I headed south again and focused on R. Next, A. Next, my grandmother. Finally, SC. That was enough for today. I swam into the tunnel, then turned around and swam toward the sun, then swam perpendicular to the tunnel so I could swim right through the beams. I hope they can hear me, feel me, whatever, because I love my sunbeam time. It is the only time I can feel happy about the people I miss so much. After taking two classes on consciousness and having a couple of sessions with a medium, I have an entirely different understanding about death.

I don’t believe there is a heaven or hell, but I do believe there is consciousness. We can communicate with people who have transitioned. And the connection is pure love. A year ago when I did my medium sessions with my friend (so we could talk to our friends and family) I wept through two hour-long sessions. The conversations were real, in the words and ways my friends talk(ed). Not sure I can actually describe the feeling of hearing them again. It really got to me and got through in a way I haven’t experienced before.

Ok. I’m getting trippy, but this is a real thing for me. Grief is so hard. It’s heavy, and if I don’t want it to crush me I have to deal with it. I’m grateful to the lake for providing the perfect place to have a spiritual experience during my swims. Because the sun has been so rare I have had two really sweet sunbeam swims, but I know as the sun appears more regularly that I won’t always take the time I did today. That’s ok. 

Hi, Hope You’re Having As Much Fun As I Am

The water was fairly flat today, with some really tiny waves here and there from the boats. I’m not a fan of sharing the lake with boats, but I do enjoy it when paddle boarders glide by. I always wave, thinking hey, you, isn’t this water fantastic….have a nice day. Sometimes they wave back. Kayakers are better at waving back.

Not sure how long I swam because I kept swimming for a bit after the alarm went off. I have it set to play Depeche Mode (Just Can’t Get Enough), so today I just bobbed and danced in the water when it went off. I’m a much better water dancer than on land. I didn’t want to get out of the lake, but my swim buddy, S, had plans tonight. 

Still, after we showered we sat on beach with D for a bit, chatting. One of my fav things about the beach is watching little tiny tots stand at the end of the water and throw rocks into the lake. They can do it forever. I love that focus, commitment. And because this is Seattle, they are usually wearing an adorbs sun hat or impossibly cute Wellington-style boots (usually orange or blue). 

Now I am home and wishing I had a cook, a masseuse, and a cleaning person. I need some pampering and a clean house. 

Tomorrow will be hot and sunny again, then down to 60 for Sunday. It’s spring. Yahooooooooo.