Oh, Yeah. Oh, Yeah.

Jan 25, 2022

Today at the lake, I swam by myself at my neighborhood beach. It’s not the best beach ‘cause the water is full of particles and duck poop germs. But it feels the safest when I go alone. There’s a walking path that goes right past the beach. 

I had to get back home for a telehealth appointment, so I got my suit on half-way up, then drove to the beach. Got all my extras on and zippered up in the parking lot, so all I had to do was walk into the water. 

Two nannies and their little charges came running. I think the kids wanted to see the giant seal lady. So they asked if I was cold, and I said no. Like always. 

Clear with Particles

Then I waded in. The water was super clear, but still lots of specks of stuff visible once I get my head under water. I swam between the two poles, as usual. It took about 10 tries to acclimate my face, then I just tried to pace myself with movement and breathing. Focused on my stroke, my form, keeping my breathing at the same rate. 

Caught some side sunbeams like I did the other day, but I wasn’t really able to be too relaxed or open to the lake’s magic cause I had to get my exercise in and get home for my online therapy appointment. Back and forth, back and forth, sighting at the end, always having to realign my position to reach the end pole.

The seaweed is so icky and dumb. I resent it for being puce and droopy. I blame it for all the particles in the water, which I image are seaweed and sea grass pollens. Lucky I use a snorkel. I freak out when that water gets in my mouth. So today was a discipline swim. I felt ok in the water, but no magic. Still, I felt good just getting my swim in. 

I wasn’t sure how much time had gone by, but I knew that I was getting tired. I used my buoy like a kick board and flutter kicked into the shallow water. Flutter kicking is really hard! Then I stood up and walked out of the water. 

Changing in Parking Lot

Shuffled quickly to the parking lot, where I had warm gear in my trunk. I forgot to bring the Bloncho and Honcho Poncho, which I use to drape over me and change underneath. Not today. I pulled off the top part of the wetsuit, rolled down my swimsuit, then yanked off my merino wool tee. The hood was open, so the door blocked the cars on the other side of me from seeing my melons flapping in the breeze. But anyone paying attention or seeing me from side view got an eyeful. I just don’t care. I need to be free. And if people are frightened–and they should be–they should look away. And if any creeps are turned on, they really need to keep that to themselves and stay away from me (p.s. to the sick men out there – nudity is not an invitation). Everyone else, whatever. 

I actually can’t wait til I lose the 50 pounds I gained breaking my leg in half (well, time spent in wheel chair) so I can get my reduction surgery and have perky 34B tits. They will be awesome, and I won’t be hiding behind my car or using a coverup for modesty. People are just gonna have to deal with them. As they are now, they slow me down and get in my way. F that. 

Talking to Nice Strangers

A lady and her senior friend approached, with so many questions and to tell me I’m brave. I’m not, but thanks. I told them I wanted to talk to them but had to get home for an appointment and could I have their number? Then we could meet on purpose at the park. Yes. I will call them on Friday!

Then I am rushing home and my radio, which mostly doesn’t work but sometimes does, burst on with “oh yea, oh yea,” some Led Zeppelin song. And I shouted, “T, T!” T is my friends’ son who transitioned last summer. I think he is now my patron saint of electric connectivity. He visits me by making my computer and tv do things. Today, he helped the tenuous current between my old radio and the car wiring connect so I could hear the glorious chorus of this song. It was exactly what I was feeling. Thanks, T for helping me celebrate my swim. I did it. I made it. I have not passed out on the couch yet. 

Now, I’m not a Zeppelin fan, but the “oh, yea,” was exactly what my body and mind feel after a swim.

The water was flat, calm. Sun out. Didn’t bring my phone/camera to the water. Rats.