The Plane

Today at the lake…it was cold, windy, and kind of bitchy. Or maybe just aloof that comes across as bitchy.

I was meeting a new swim buddy and with my caretaker, M. I got cold and tired of waiting, so I decided to go in. The waves were making noise, and the water was dark. I knew if I waited I might chicken out. Still no wetsuit but know that I know the water has changed, it’s harder to get in.

I wore two swim caps and some waterproof running gloves. I walked up the the waist-high point, screamed a little, then dove in. Cold, really cold. Everywhere. My arms were cold, my butt was cold, my legs, my face. But I swam right into the waves, heading out to the deep end. It’s impssible to swim into waves and do crawl, so my modified breast stroke worked pretty well. I kept going for quite awhile before lifting my head up. Wow. I had gone past the cement dock thingy, w/o really trying.

I turned 90 degress to swim to the dock. It was still light enough to see, so I scorned the yellow seaweed and just swam over it, always looking for sandy areas on the bottom. I came into the shallow water to ask my friend if the woman I was meeting had shown up….but no.

Once again I headed straight into the waves, trying to follow the same area I swam in before. I had lost my knife and case; they must have fallen off on the way out the first time. I didn’t find them, and when I pulled up to see where I was, there was a plane on the water! WTF? Cause planes can land in Lake Union, but I don’t think they’re supposed to land in my lake. I grabbed my floaty and watched as it puttered around and seemed to turn around to make an attempt at flight. Wonder if it was gonna chop me up or crash on me, and I was irritated.

I eventually decided I didn’t care, and headed off toward the cement dock when I have a collision with another swimmer!!!! Neither of us saw the other, so for a second we were a tangle of arms and swim buoys. She knocked me in the face, and my snorkel fell off, so I was scrambling to figure out what had happened and what to do.

I grabbed my floaty to hold it and just figure out what was going on. She had a cramp in her leg and was floating on her back. I asked if I should pull her in, but she wasn’t concerned at all. I was flopping around, trying to empty the water from my snorkel and get it back on my face. I didn’t want to stop swimming, but I thgouth maybe I should. The plane was still there, and we both got mad at it. Why haven’t they called the coast guard? This is our lake. (you can see us in the frame with the plane–I”m on the right side, yellow cap and yellow buoy.)

When I got back to the beach I met up with the swim buddy I was supposed to meet with. She had arrived late and swam with the woman I ran into and her two swim buddies. And this is were I got annoyed. I’ve run into these ladies three times. I try to see if we can swim together, and they’re always like, “oh, we always swim in the morning.” But I see they spent a lot of time talking to my swim buddy, and I keep running into them. I don’t get women here. They are in a little group, and have no interest in including anyone else. I could see if it was three friends having tea, but having more people in the water is safer — for being in the water and being at the beach after the swim because it can be isolated. More people around, less likely creeps will hang around. Anyway, it’s making me sad that I am friendly to all and invite everyone to swim with me, and so far have not been able to break into a group. I’ve also met several women for swims and those outings worked out well.

I’m not someone who needs to be liked, but I’m also not someone who has much experience being excluded. If I reflect on this a bit, it’s just that I’m so eager to connect with other woman so I can have a regular swim partner or two. Normally, I’m a good at reading people, but with my depression and PTSD, I’m probably just too eager to connect and not that good at understanding how things like this are done here in the northwest. It’s not like the midwest where you can just walk up and talk and join. So, I take back the “bitchy” comments I started with. I need to give it more time. I can’t expect strangers to just open their arms and their workout clubs and want to swim with me. I think of it as “hey, we are all doing this thing, let’s do it together, we can be a teams etc.” But I need to chill the F out because maybe they are not used to crazy women approaching them and wanting to exercise together just cause we both like swimming in the lake.

Now I have to work on my post-swim gear. Everyone I swim with, everyone I talk to on the beach teaches me a little more about gear I might want or other tips or techniques.

LIKE: So important to put on a big parka or fluffy hoody and get the suit off and warm gear on. My swim bag gets bigger and bigger.

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